Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
