So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just found puke in my bra..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
