I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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