the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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