Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
