Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up

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  (847): you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up http://tfl.nu/wwvz
  Replies (1) Good night (1240) Bad night (660)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  ok, come over...I have doritos

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  (201): Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home... (1-201): ok, come over...I have doritos http://tfl.nu/32vm
  Replies (8) Good night (1105) Bad night (1943)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.

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  (413): Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist. http://tfl.nu/vfvp
  Replies (33) Good night (5701) Bad night (1464)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them

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  (239): I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them http://tfl.nu/55o4
  Replies (99) Good night (4770) Bad night (2434)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  (509): idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow. http://tfl.nu/e8dm
  Replies (7) Good night (2429) Bad night (758)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.

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  (305): I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead. http://tfl.nu/c42w
  Replies (9) Good night (1494) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

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  (214): So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo. http://tfl.nu/7r9s
  Replies (3) Good night (1777) Bad night (508)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?

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  (205): Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine? http://tfl.nu/l4l5
  Replies (17) Good night (1446) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING

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  (209): Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING http://tfl.nu/zpal
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (531)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.

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  (205): All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok. http://tfl.nu/h2pz
  Replies (1) Good night (1147) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This drive is very scenic

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And I'm chugging whiskey in the back

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  As you should, soak in all this country has to offer

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  (717): This drive is very scenic (717): And I'm chugging whiskey in the back (610): As you should, soak in all this country has to offer http://tfl.nu/nm28
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (625)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.

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  (850): Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book. http://tfl.nu/62om
  Replies (2) Good night (966) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.

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  (407): Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone. http://tfl.nu/oywy
  Replies (4) Good night (343) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.

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  (217): I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted. http://tfl.nu/vsw4
  Replies (2) Good night (295) Bad night (489)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...

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  (778): She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there... http://tfl.nu/opdp
  Replies (1) Good night (220) Bad night (418)

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