My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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