Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders

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(248): so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders http://tfl.nu/1b2g

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(804): View more from Virginia

he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...

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(804): he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ... http://tfl.nu/7lew

Replies (30) Good night (3985) Bad night (854)
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(219): View more from Indiana

My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

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(219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj

Replies (24) Good night (5790) Bad night (2403)
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(206): View more from Washington

This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate

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(206): This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate http://tfl.nu/vfhs

Replies (6) Good night (2338) Bad night (1581)
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(940): View more from Texas

You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.

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(940): You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata. http://tfl.nu/mqsn

Replies (3) Good night (3258) Bad night (689)
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(707): View more from California

We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.

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(707): We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE. http://tfl.nu/7oeu

Replies (9) Good night (1296) Bad night (2226)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.

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(708): Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life. http://tfl.nu/mhw6

Replies (14) Good night (2469) Bad night (724)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

(1-928): View more from Arizona

They dropped the charges?

(928): View more from Arizona

Yeppers. Come drink beers.

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(928): I deem it safe for us to drink together again. (1-928): They dropped the charges? (928): Yeppers. Come drink beers. http://tfl.nu/va29

Replies (8) Good night (2877) Bad night (644)
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(425): View more from Washington

we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years

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(425): we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years http://tfl.nu/w11g

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(417): View more from Missouri

It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.

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(417): It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday. http://tfl.nu/s40o

Replies (15) Good night (2370) Bad night (556)
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(406): View more from Montana

You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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(406): You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways http://tfl.nu/cne1

Replies (6) Good night (644) Bad night (1255)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.

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(320): he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please. http://tfl.nu/ca04

Replies (9) Good night (432) Bad night (853)
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(240): View more from Maryland

All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again

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(240): All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again http://tfl.nu/54xi

Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (320)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.

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(860): Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night. http://tfl.nu/jb56

Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (222)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.

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(513): Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team. http://tfl.nu/xqxm

Replies (10) Good night (446) Bad night (271)

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