What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.