Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"