Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

are we going to glenview for practice??

(847): View more from Illinois

(3 hrs later) aids

(248): View more from Michigan

where r u? what is story? im way too high right now

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(248): are we going to glenview for practice?? (847): (3 hrs later) aids (248): where r u? what is story? im way too high right now http://tfl.nu/h122

Replies (5) Good night (1221) Bad night (688)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

(1-404): View more from Georgia

what drugs are you on?

(404): View more from Georgia

none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

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(404): I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles! (1-404): what drugs are you on? (404): none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later http://tfl.nu/mtfu

Replies (26) Good night (5364) Bad night (877)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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(306): It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story. http://tfl.nu/6m1s

Replies (14) Good night (1147) Bad night (2928)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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(314): Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one http://tfl.nu/zke4

Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (3103)
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(586): View more from Michigan

from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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(586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3

Replies (4) Good night (2400) Bad night (1205)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice

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(608): im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice http://tfl.nu/dly6

Replies (15) Good night (3156) Bad night (1381)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

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(847): Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too. http://tfl.nu/lfcy

Replies (6) Good night (3693) Bad night (924)
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(410): View more from Maryland

still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..

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(410): still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that.. http://tfl.nu/9298

Replies (4) Good night (1522) Bad night (798)
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(315): View more from New York

The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.

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(315): The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate. http://tfl.nu/isdg

Replies (5) Good night (1772) Bad night (541)
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(816): View more from Missouri

no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.

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(816): no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help. http://tfl.nu/7acp

Replies (7) Good night (2452) Bad night (897)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.

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(603): I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility. http://tfl.nu/wqgl

Replies (13) Good night (2796) Bad night (1222)
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(512): View more from Texas

I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.

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(512): I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low. http://tfl.nu/zwn3

Replies (4) Good night (1202) Bad night (656)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"

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(774): She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious" http://tfl.nu/oxyq

Replies (7) Good night (1390) Bad night (552)
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(740): View more from Ohio

omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.

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(740): omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause. http://tfl.nu/xm5u

Replies (5) Good night (1483) Bad night (478)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.

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(978): Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman. http://tfl.nu/t3af

Replies (2) Good night (978) Bad night (401)

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