I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dignity is for republicans.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
