I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
