Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You made out with two different species that night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
