Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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