I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
