I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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