mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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