My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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