i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
