'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
