what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
