Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize