Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
