Hey man sorry I got all grabby
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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