sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
