it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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