It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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