90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
