The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
