I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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