is your mom at the bar?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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