At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
