Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
