Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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