No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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