why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
