Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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