So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
