New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves