last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina