Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
