Betty ford says i'm here all night
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.