There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
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