I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
