is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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