As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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