1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
should my penis look like a turkey
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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