i may or may not be watching the land before time
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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