suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I intend to get homeless drunk
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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