I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
