We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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