Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
