Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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