I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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