Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
