My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I understand Curling. That high.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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