He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize