He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize