I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Someone signed my nipple.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize