I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
