ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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