Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize