Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
