I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
