You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
