porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
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I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
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Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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