We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
