We're like a lot better than the average bears
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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