At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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