I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
