well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
