and she was petting her beer can
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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